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Am I being Abused?

Updated: Mar 12, 2020


There are many types of violence and abuse. Some of these signs are signs of physical abuse or domestic violence. Some are signs of emotional and verbal abuse or sexual abuse.

Signs of abuse include:

  • Keeping track of everything you do

  • Monitoring what you’re doing all the time or asking where you are and who you’re with every second of the day

  • Demanding your passwords to social media sites and email accounts

  • Demanding that you reply right away to texts, emails, or calls

  • Preventing or discouraging you from seeing friends or family

  • Preventing or discouraging you from going to work or school

  • Being jealous, controlling, or angry

  • Acting very jealous, including constantly accusing you of cheating

  • Having a quick temper, so you never know what you will do or say that may cause a problem

  • Controlling how you spend your money

  • Controlling your use of medicines or birth control

  • Making everyday decisions for you that you normally decide for yourself (like what to wear or eat)

  • Demeaning you

  • Putting you down, such as insulting your appearance, intelligence, or activities

  • Humiliating you in front of others

  • Destroying your property or things that you care about

  • Blaming you for his or her violent outbursts

  • Physically hurting or threatening to hurt you or loved ones

  • Threatening to hurt you, the children, or other people or pets in your household

  • Hurting you physically (such as hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)

  • Using (or threatening to use) a weapon against you

  • Threatening to harm himself or herself when upset with you

  • Threatening to turn you in to authorities for illegal activity if you report physical abuse

  • Forcing you to have sex or other intimate activity

  • Forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to through physical force or threats

  • Assuming that consent for a sex act in the past means that you must participate in the same acts in the future

  • Assuming that consent for one activity means consent for future activity or increased levels of intimacy (for example, assuming that kissing should lead to sex every time)

If you think someone is abusing you, get help. Abuse can have serious physical and emotional effects.

For more information visit The Office on Women's Health website.

The Office on Women's Health is grateful for the medical review in 2017 by:

  • Sharon G. Smith, Ph.D., Behavioral Scientist, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

  • Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) Staff

  • Kathleen C. Basile, Ph.D., Lead Behavioral Scientist, Division of Violence Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

  • Kathryn Jones, M.S.W., Public Health Advisor, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)


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